My own personal experiences in my life came from a unique place, I say that from a very different place today as I have evolved and seen things through a different lens and have a new reality of normal.
I know that reality is not us all running around wearing masks but actually allowing ourselves to take off the mask and allow ourselves to be vulnerable and show our authentic selves.
Suppressed feelings, emotions and running on auto pilot from years of untold secrets, never belonging, wondering what normal was and questioning the meaning of all the chaos I was surrounded by. Nothing made sense.
The women in my life through recovery and fellowships have always welcomed me with open arms, comforted me through many tears and each time I take a golden nugget away which has helped me evolve into the woman I am today.
I went to meetings in such unbelievable pain that all I wanted was for it to lessen a little somehow. Pain is inevitable—for everyone. Suffering, as they say, is entirely optional. The women in my fellowship encouraged me to feel my feelings—something I had never learned to do as a child. The more I listened to other members share their own feelings, the more I began to get in touch with my own. I learned detachment, and then detachment with love. I learned to look for the good and not to wallow in all of the bad stuff.
Becoming evolved is a process that began with having a spiritually conscious awakening. As I have gone deeper into my personal growth, I have witnessed how I have evolved and changed.
I have learnt so many valuable lessons in my recovery.
I don’t have to accept whatever ideology or values system were taught to me as a child, I have a CHOICE.
- I don’t have to please others and feel super responsible, I have a right to say NO.
- I don’t have to suppress my feelings, keep secrets, feel guilty and shameful, I have the choice to express my own VALUES, NEEDS AND WANTS.
- Learning to respond and not react to my environment had taught me adversity, I no longer have to feel paralyzed.
Today, I have evolved as a woman who is always open and willing to learn and explore and given me a clear sense of who I am and what direction I want to go to in my life, it has given me a strong identity. I have a higher sense of self awareness and purpose and with positive intention I’m living a life I have chosen to live.
I do not have control of external factors but can control internal factors of my life, by taking responsibility, staying in my own lane, doing the work I love, spending time with the people I choose to spend time with and living into my values, needs and wants with purpose.
I feel more connected to my higher power and when I set my intentions synchronicity always presents itself in beautiful ways.
This consciousness to my higher power has also lead me to the most incredible people in my life, that I feel so incredibly grateful for.
I have learnt that I never have to feel alone in an unfamiliar place, others support me, mentor me and listen to me. I have become more familiar with my alone time and make time purposefully in each day to have this time to reflect, think and find inspiration. I take more risks and learn the lessons I take from them.
I care with compassion about other people’s wellbeing but no longer care what other people think about me.
I have always been a great motivator but also a great competitor being an athlete most of my life. As woman I feel we always trying to compete in society, and against one another rather than celebrate one another. It’s not about achieving more, but evolving. I genuinely feel happier when I can encourage other women and share their joy it brings me greater connection and opens up more opportunities to learn and grow. I love this quote, “I am a necessary piece of the big picture and not the big picture itself.” This brings humility and builds communities. I have acquired humility it has built my self-esteem, allowed me to accept myself, all my assets and defects alike and I can extend the same acceptance to others.
I don’t have to be perfect and its my interpretation. So, I am blessed that I could share my story with you and to end off I will share some affirmations with all you special woman that I have learnt in recovery.
Replace each painful thought with a more positive alternative.
Hope replaces disappointment.
Confidence replaces fear.
Stubborn pride gives way to acceptance.
Focus on yourself it replaces frustration with someone else.
Take care of yourself, and in the process, you learn how to build better relationships with others.
Do your best to keep the focus on yourself.
Be true to yourself.
You are perfect just the way you are.
The purpose of being alive is to evolve into the person we intend to be physically, spiritually and emotionally. -Charissa Balman